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[GCommon]

Here's the beginning of a book I'm working on. sorry if there are errors, I haven't got t edited yet.

William stood staring into the dark rainy night from the safety of his living. His day was long and the night seemed to drag, as his mind once again filled with thoughts. Thoughts of his past, thoughts of his present, and thoughts of his future. He had came a long way in last two weeks, he had became a different person then what he use to be and he couldn't get the words his brother told him earlier out of his mind. It’s been two weeks since he had first came to this town and he still hasn't gained everyone’s trust.
He was suddenly taken from his train of thought by a pounding on his front door.
William walked over and opened it, on the other side of the door was a young woman with freckles her red hair waved down the left and right of her head.
“Heather what are you doing out in this storm?” asked William.
“I was worried about you,” she answered with a cute grin. “And I've brought you some food in case your were hungry.”
“Thanks.”
William stepped aside allowing her to walked in then, closed the door behind her.

They were sitting at a table in the center of the kitchen across from each other eating the food that had Heather brought.
“This is really good,” said William. “What is it?”
“You don’t know what this is?” she asked in confusion.
“No, I've never had it before.”
Heather put her right hand on her lips and giggled; then she answered with a smile “These are ham and cheese sandwiches, I made them myself.”
“Wow you’re a really good cook.”
Heather giggled again. “Thanks.” She then changed the subject. “So it's been two weeks since you've gotten here, how do you like it so far?”
“It isn't too bad, most people are nice but some hate me.”
“Like who?”
“Well your father for one.”
“Oh come on, my dad doesn't hate you he just doesn't know you very well. I mean you've just showed up here two weeks ago in the middle of the night and you were hurt pretty bad. Plus you haven't told anyone anything about who you are and where you came from. My dad is the sheriff so he’s just trying to make sure everyone is safe.”
“Well he doesn't need to worry about me, I'm a good person.”
“I know but people are afraid of what they don't know.”
“You’re not afraid of me.”
“Well I believe that when your ready your tell us what we want to know, but I'd never rush or pressure you. Just take your time; it's okay with me.”
William smiled, “You’re a good person Heather.”
Heather's cheeks turned red and she gave a light smile. “Thanks I take after my mom.”
There was a sudden ringing sound coming from heather jacket.
“What's that?”
“Oh that's just my cell phone.”
She pulled out small phone, flipped in open and pulled out the antina on the top of it.. “Hi dad....” she spoke. “I'm at Will's.... ….....Come on dad don’t say that he’s really sweet...............Fine I'm on my way, love you bye.”
Heather then closed her phone and put it back in her jacket. “Sorry William I have to go my dad needs help fixing the leaks in our roof.”
“Okay thank you for the ham and cheese sandwiches.”
Heather stood up and walked to the door, escorted by William. Once they reached it Heather pulled the knob then turned back towards William and he asked. “So I'll see you tomorrow?”
Heather leaned over and pressed her lips to his right cheek before replying “Of course you will.”
Heather then smiled and walked out as the door closed behind her.
William walked over to a window and watched as she started her car. As her head-lights lit up blinding Williams sight begun to think back to the night he first came to the town.|





Two weeks earlier.......... December 1994




It was a dark night and the great storm was just starting to cease. Sheriff Jonathan Brown was driving around the town along with his young deputy Jeffery Wilson. They were making rounds across to town to clarify all the damaged the hurricane had caused.
“Well it seems everyone’s okay,” said Jonathan, “We have a lot of property damage though.”
“How much you think it’ll set the town back?” ask Jeffery.
“Not sure, let’s go back to the office and see we if got anymore reports.”
“Sure, sheriff,” replied Jeffery.
They begun to drive down a straight road on the outskirts of the town. To their left was their small town of Basile, to there right was miles of forest.

Within the woods not to far from the town was a young man with short blue hair and blue eyes was running towards a light he saw in the distance. He was badly injured with blood flowing from his forehead and arms. His right arm was fractured and he was lumping to his left. He kept thinking to his self “How could this have happened, how could I have gotten hurt like this?” He seen a road outside of the forest and ran towards it. As he ran out of the forest he was blinded by the bright light of a car heading straight for him. Jonathan noticed him in the way. He quickly slammed the breaks and turned the wheel trying to miss him. His car slid on the wet pavement and hit the young man as it stopped throwing him to the ground.
Jonathan ran out of the car and shouted to Jeffery. “CALL THE AMBALANCE”
Jonathan ran to the young and bent down towards him. “Hey kid are you okay.”
The man begun to cough and blood came from his mouth as he talked. “I'll be fine.”
“What's your name son?”
“It’s Winter,” he then hesitated for a sec, “William Winter.” He then blacked out.”

William slowly opened his eyes and was blinded by the bright ceiling lights staring down at him. He sat up and looked around noticing that he was sitting in a medical room. He begun to searched himself for the bruises but they were all gone as if he never had them, and his arm had healed perfectly.
“Oh so your awake.” came a male voice from the doorway.
He looked towards the sound and saw a young man in scrubs holding a yellow file.
“Where am I?” asked William.
“Your in the Acadian Medical Center in Eunice.” He opened the file and began to flip though papers. “So William, it’s seems you’re clear to leave. And I'm really impressed after being as badly injured as you were, you heal pretty quick.”
“Well how long would it usually takes someone to heal after that?”
“Weeks which is what’s really amazing about it.”
“Well the really think it’s odd that I was injured in the first place.”
“From what I heard you were out in the middle of a hurricane, and that’s why you got hurt.”
“I know it doesn’t make any sense.”
The nurse just stared at him in a silent confusion for a second before he spoke again, “Well you’re free to go. So just got by the front office and sign your release papers.”
“Great.” William stepped off of the bed. “How do I get back to the forest I was in?”
“You could take one-ninety. Why did you leave something there?”
“No I just have to see something.”
“Do you have someone you can call? Friends? Family?”
“Yeah, but I don’t think they’ll hear me from here.”
The nurse again stared at him in confusion for a second. “No that’s not what I meant. I’m talking about a phone number.”
“Oh, you mean other means of communications.” William put his hand on his head and begun to think for a second. “I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to reach just yet. I need to find out what’s happened to me first. How long is the forest from here.”
“Nine, ten miles.”
“Then I must get going.”
“Wait, how are going to get there?”
“I’m going to walk.”
“What? Come on don’t you have anyone who can come get you?”
“As I told you before it would best not to tell anyone yet. So that goes for you to. Do not tell a single soul that I was here.”
“I don’t even know who you are?”
“That’s best for the both of us. Now I must take my leave, you’ve wasted enough of my time already.”
“Okay, but you know my shifts up so if you want I can give you a ride. I live in Basile.”
“Thank you, let us make haste.”
The nurse again stared at him in confusion. William seemed to speak as if he’s never before left his house. It seems his knowledge was based on watching other but not really living himself. The nurse begun to think he’s knowledge was based on watching the media. “Okay William let’s go, and I’m Jonathan Lester by the way.”
“I didn’t ask.” Replied William as he walked out the door.
Jonathan sighed then followed him.

[GCommon]

An old rusted brown truck pulled off the road right next to the forest. The passenger door open and William stepped out staring into the forest. He took a few steps forward and looked up into the trees as the drive door opens and Jonathan stepped out.
“Well here we are.” Said Jonathan.
William replied without taking his eyes off the forest. “Thank you Jonathan Lester, but your services will no longer be required.” He then begun to step forward walking further into the forest.
“Hey hold up,” said Jonathan and he went after him.
Jonathan walked through the forest following Williams tracks, The further he went more damaged the trees appeared as if something large had forced it’s way through the forest managing to knock and rip the trees out of it’s path. He suddenly came to a section that was completely destroyed. All the tress in the area wad forcefully pushed aside or snapped in half. He noticed William staring down a large hole in the ground that seemed to go on for miles into the Earth.
Jonathan walked into the area looking around in both amazement and fear as to what could have caused this damage. As approached William suddenly grabbed him by the neck and held him up over the hole. Jonathan’s eyes widened in fear and he quickly grabbed William’s hand and held on tight as his body dangled over the darkness of the hole. He managed all the breath he could to speak under William’s death grip. “William what are doing?”
“I warned you not to follow Jonathan Lester, and now you’ve seen to much. The only way to assure that what you see here is kept confidential is to end your life.”
“Please William I won’t tell anyone I promise.”
“Like I said I have to guarantee that you will not speak a word.” William suddenly tightened his grip causing Jonathan more pain.
As the last breath slowly begun to slip from Jonathan’s lunges he managed to squeeze out one final comment. “But you need me.”
Curious but his final remark William quickly removed him from the hole and dropped him to the ground. Jonathan gagged and coughed finally regaining his breath.
“Okay Jonathan Lester.” Said William. “Explain it to me why I can’t kill you.”
Jonathan stood up heavily breath while leaning on a nearby try. “Okay.” He said in a heavy voice and speaking in fear. “Look, I could obviously tell that you’re not normal. There’s something different about you and you’re really not doing a good job with being secretive about it. I mean I knew something was off after the way you healed so fast.”
“What’s your point?”
“You need me, I can help you keep your secrets I can guide you.”
“Ha, if you had any idea who I was you’d know why that sounds so foolish. Why would I take advice from a peasant like you.”
“Because of that reason, the way you talk the way you act. You’re not fooling any, people will think you’re weird right off the back. I mean unless you plan on killing everyone you meet.”
“Is that not an option?”
“What, if you start killing people, you’ll have a lot more attention then you want trust me. It’ll be all over the news everyone will know about you.”
William turned away and begun to think for a second, he then turned back and replied. “Okay, I do have two weeks that I can stay investigating my condition I guess I can kill you then.”
“What! No you either let me live or I don’t help you.”
“Okay, I’ll let you live. But know that I will have to erase your memory of ever meeting me afterwards.”
Jonathan suddenly jumped up in shock, “What! Why didn’t you just do that from the beginning instead of trying kill me.”
William scratched his head in thought while replying, “You know, I never really thought of that before. Guess I was just thinking of the easiest way.” He then turned towards the hole held his arms out and slowly brought them together. As he did the dirty begun to move filling up the hole until it was closed.
“Wow,” said Jonathan. “What are you?”
“I never said you could ask me any questions. Just help me remain hidden will I figure out why I was hurt.”
“Fine, believe after seeing what you would do to me I’m not sure I even wanna know.”
“Now I’ll need a place to stay, I’m sure you have a home, let’s go.” William walked away.
Jonathan sighed and said, “God help me.” He then followed after William.

[anthonypero]

Thanks for the feedback! I view Michelle as one of those assistants who basically run their bosses' life. She's like the classic power bureaucrat, the brains behind Jacob's passion and name. In future drafts I'll see if I can't develop that a bit more.

[Ian P. Johnson]

I can think of a good reason to light a fire at noon– the local climate is polar, and someone just came in from the freezing cold. Of course, the impression that I got from the prologue was that it was set at mid-latitudes, just like most fantasy.

That still doesn't explain why anyone would need to light a fire at noon for light, though.

[anthonypero]

Maybe there are no windows.

[SkylarkThibedeau]

First Draft First Chapter. Fan Fic

Snorri Thorvaldsen lay delirious on a wooden pallet on the cold stone floor of his cell. A monk knelt next to the young Icelander’s mat swabbing his forehead with cold compresses. Snorri’s bedclothes and blanket were drenched with sweat though the cold spring air from the North Sea striking Tyrshammer blown through the open window did nothing to alleviate the youths fever.

He coughed but did not gain consciousness. Blonde curls of wet hair matted on his fore head and sweat glistened on the golden hairs of the fuzz that served the youth as a beard. The young man’s bowels let loose in a smelly, nasty flux soiling his clothes, bedding, and the floor. The Monk sighed and rose and left the room to find fresh linens and water to clean the vile mess.

Snorri had been sick for a fortnight. . Racked with fever and dysentery he had grown steadily weaker. The Brothers had sweated him, bled him and prayed over him to no avail.

Snorri’s soft moans filled the small chamber. He dreamt of fire. He saw himself dressed in his blue surcoat with the emblem of the Ordo Militim Vidictis Intactae sewn into it blown open at the sleeves by hot gusts of wind. He had lost his shield and helm and was clutching his long sword with both hands warding off fiery phantom menaces screaming and reaching for him in the smoke and flame.

He struck at the shadows that grasped at him and felt his blade strike…something. Whatever he had struck felt unlike neither man nor beast nor fencing dummy. He slowly retreated backwards away from the flames. The darkness faded as he retreated and the phantoms seemed unwilling to follow him into the light.

A deep white smoke settled round him as he entered a pale daylight blocking the view of the flames. He smelled water in the air and realized it was a fog. His vision was limited to a few feet and he held the sword warily as his Oplo had taught him ready for any new dangers coming out of the fog.

The sound of crackling flames began to subside as he moved away from the cave. Snorri began to feel relief from the heavy heat that had engulfed his body. A sudden chill began to fill the air which refreshed him. The wind shifted and the fog began to lift. The young shield brother heard the unmistakable sound of battle in the distance.

He moved slowly towards the sound, his sword at the ready. His trained his senses to his surroundings as he had been taught in training. The ground beneath his feet was growing softer with each step and his boots began to sink softly into a swampy morass. He realized he was on the edge of a lake.

He saw the horsemen in the distance. Several score of knights in full armor. Each was on fire as were their horses. The very ground beneath them burst into flames as they rode. They saw him.


The Demon Riders were several furlongs away from Snorri. They stopped for a moment as they saw him. Fire and smoke poured out of the armor of man and beast. Snorri began to run but there was no place to go. He was trapped on the edge of the lake and would not be able to escape the terrible warriors.

He looked back as he ran and saw the Captain of the terrible company order it forward. The ground burned beneath them. They would catch him in moments.

“Snorri run into the Lake”, a soft female voice beckoned in his head.

He looked out into the glassy waters and hesitated. His mail would surely pull him under. It was a poor choice of drowning or being cut down by fiery swords.

“Have faith my Son.” The woman had a smile in her voice that was warm and reassuring. “I am here to claim you as my own. Behold!”

A beam of light cascaded down from the heavens causing the waters of the lake to shimmer and shine in its reflection. It blinded Snorri temporarily and he saw the fog was now completely gone as his sight returned. The Virgin was sending him a vision! It had to be that he was being tested. Snorri felt his fears begin to fade.

The voice calm and as soothing as a mother cuddling her babe now urged him on. “Now run. Run to the light. You have been brought out of darkness run to the light.”

The thunder of the dark knights charge was much too close now. They would be upon him soon. The light had now completely dissipated the fog and on the far shore he could see a small host of human knights and footmen. He momentarily hesitated before stepping out onto the waters of the lake.

He stumbled a second when he found his feet on solid ground. The water was wet and murky but each step was like walking on the bricked walls of the fortress. He ran toward the light. His steps were solid and boomed as if he ran on stone instead of water.

He looked back and the demon knights had reached the edge of the lake. The entire landscape surrounding their path the water was in flames and dense smoke began to obscure sight of the far shore. They hesitated a moment at the edge.

Snorri ran with all his might. In the distance beyond the light near the far host a figure in white began to towards him out onto the running upon the waters as easily as he. A woman’s voice called in Norwegian “Run Snorri run!”

He ran faster towards the light. Only a few more yards until he was safe in the Virgin’s light. Behind him he heard the battle cry of the demon knights. They were charging out onto the lake. The fire and flame undimmed by the waters and like Snorri they did not sink.

He reached the light and it returned to heaven. “Now Snorri. Now” said the soft but firm voice of the virgin.

Snorri lifted the greatsword to the sword to the sky. “Alalazu! Alalazu!” he shouted the war cry of his Order at the approaching demons. He could clearly see their red sword over cross Heraldry was that of the Livonian Sword Brethren.

“I am a Knight of the Virgin Defender. We are the Shield of Saint Mary." He shouted as he held the pommel of the sword in both hands and brought it down in force to pierce the water beneath his feet the force carrying him to his knees. There was a mighty crack that filled the air as he struck and for a spilt second he thought he saw the water turn into ice.

The ground shook around him. Suddenly he found himself flaying about in the ice cold waters of the lake which had suddenly became liquid again. There were screams and hissing as the Livonian Demons and their mounts began to slide under the waters pulled down by their armor their flames extinguished.

Snorri tried in vain to swim but his mail coat was pulling him under. Suddenly hands gripped him tightly under his arms slowly pulling him from the water in short jerks. Snorri rolled out of the water and found some of the lake behind him was still solid.

A woman stood over him, her ragged green cloak covered with white rags. As Snorri looked at her she stepped in front of the sun and sunlight made a halo effect around her pock marked and scarred face as she looked down at him and smiled.

The voice of the virgin rang in his head. “In the free city you will find her.” The voice of the Virgin said in his ear. “Protect her. I bind you to me and send you back for this quest.”

The light around the woman’s face grew brighter and Snorri moaned and closed his eyes to shield his sight. He moaned.

Suddenly he was freezing. He felt a rough calloused hand on his shoulder. “Brother Snorri are you awake?” It was old Brother Hubert sitting beside him. He almost retched at the smell of his body and bedding. He tried to move and found his body didn’t want to respond.

“Our Lady has answered our prayers!” the Monk lifted his hands and face skyward. He smiled down at Snorri and began to feel his head and face until he was satisfied the fever was truly broken. “This is truly a miracle. Let me clean you Brother Snorri and I’ll be back with some broth to help build your strength.”

Snorri weakly grabbed the monks arm and muttered anxiously. “Brother Hubert, where is the Free City?”

[Madison Woods]

I'm seeking some beta readers for short stories right now and a novel when I'm done with the edits. Not sure this is the right place to post such a request... but if you're interested, visit my blog to get an idea of my style of writing (there's a whole bunch of 100-word flash "samples" under the "Index of Stories" tab. Use the "Contact Me" form to get in touch. Sorry but there's so many spam-bots on the net these days I'm not going to post my email addy. Blog url is http://madison-woods.com and Thanks in Advance!

[pagec94]

ou have managed to coldly and persistently rape the English language for 17 pages. Congratulations.

The fact that this story exists is the ultimate argument against Creationism.

Your embarrassingly ineffectual and flaccid prose made me feel uncomfortable.

This smugly written tripe is an affront to the craft of writing and fails to meet even the most generous definition of adequacy.

[Ian P. Johnson]

Isn't it just wonderful when spambots act like trolls?

[florianarm]

My book Io Deceneus Journal of a time traveler will be for free on Amazon starting with mid night Pacific Time 21st.
The book was edited by: WritersServices (Macmillan) Writers and Artists (Bloomsbury)

http://www.amazon.com/Io-Deceneus-tr.../dp/B008EJTPHI

Short presentation:
It is never easy to be a “dreamer” in search of things real life cannot provide, wandering in an imaginary existence that never becomes reality. On a quiet evening, a Gate is taking human shape and links him to a Faction, the final form of social evolution in a galaxy where all civilizations are human-like except for the Erins -a mysterious experiment representing the next level of intelligent life in a self-conscious Universe. A galaxy where Earth, enslaved by a ruthless financial system, is considered an example of failed civilization. He has to help a far away culture in its evolution from the Paleolithic to Industrial Age.
Many Factions disappeared in Universe's past enhancements and they want now to control the Erins. When they can't, they try to destroy, stealthily, as they are not allowed to directly interfere.
Rogue Factions are carefully preparing a war of annihilation. It is hard to start conflicts with peaceful people, so their society and economy have to be undermined. Earth's "model" is used for subversion and he is the best choice to counter it.
And he will become Deceneus, the “far sighted”, challenging the reader to consider the subject of free will and winding timelines.